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The Ecstasy of Making Things Worse

by Tsinder Ash

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1.
Hyiam 04:41
2.
Huzn 04:35
Grief, grief don't let me go Wires, wires don't let me go Death, death don't let me go
3.
Halocline 05:01
Anchored to my bones Beneath a river of blood Iron symbols heavy churned up mud A dazzling ochre silt Rough hewn and light Enveloped and bind Beneath a canopy of sighs And I'm chained... Shrouded web of arteries Both painful and mine The borderline between two tides I find both riverbed and sky I feel my muscles wasting Snakeskin and insect wings I feel my body shedding all the Joy you bring And I'm chained to the blood of a siren Chained to the blood of a weight Your words as hard as iron Dragged beneath my waves And I'm chained...
4.
Who killed cockrobin Who killed cockrobin I said said his mother When I drove him to the gutter I oh it was I Who killed cockrobin Who killed cockrobin I said his lover with A thousand jilted sorrows I oh it was I Who killed cockrobin Who killed cockrobin I said the dealer With a thousand dirty needles I oh it was I Who killed cockrobin Who killed cockrobin I said the client When he would not be compliant I oh it was I Who will remember? Who will remember?
5.
Oscillate 04:25
We oscillate between the pain Of being and not Of being and not We oscillate between the pain Of being and not Of lightness and weight I am a sand dune singing A thousand grains of ocean Vibrating in a discord Of hope and despair Calling you back to your dusty home To suck all the moisture From your weeping bones And the dull days drum And the dull days drum My sadness used to sparkle Now it drums a dull ache Muffled cries from gristle That bakes in cosmic rays That perforate a skinny membrane In pulsating rhythms of desire Now aftershocked, a low hum That makes the dull days drum And the dull days drum (They're calling you) To oscillate between the pain Of being and not Of being and not We oscillate between the pain Of being and not Of lightness and weight
6.
Chastity 03:49
Don't leave me unsheathed Don't leave me hanging In the breeze I'll take control I'll take you whole With no ending or release My body may be chained But desire knows no restraint I'll take all pleasure from you And lock it all away Chastity You bring out the ghost in me I feel my flesh In slivers leaving I'll leave you unclean I'll leave you gagging in the sheets I won't function for your punctum I won't be your final scene No money shot you're out of luck You will not appeased Chastity You bring out the ghost in me I feel my flesh In slivers leaving
7.
Averse 02:26
I am not averse to giving birth to myself I am not averse to giving birth to myself If the universe wants to It will give me health If the universe wants to It will give me hell At the university they said they could help But I am not a verse I am a chorus A territory of parts I am not a verse I am a chorus To terrorise your heart I am not averse to giving birth to myself You could do a lot worse than Giving birth to yourself
8.
The furious pounding Of flesh on flesh The furious pounding Of flesh on flesh Don't let me rest Don't let me rest The curious compounding Of breath on breath I tasted your death I tasted your death The echoes of you in my bones Are all I have left Fuck me til I chime Beat against my skin You're the only one Who can make my skeleton ring I feel the pumping of your veins You've got a dick that could raise me From the grave You've got a dick that could raise me From the grave The furious pounding Of flesh on flesh The furious pounding Of flesh on flesh Don't let me rest Don't let me rest
9.
Complacency 04:57
Complicit in your complacency The burden of choice weighs heavy on me Complicit in your complacency Death is no longer behind me Complicit in your complacency There's no lighthouse There's no marker There's no line between the sea and shore There's no father There's no answer There's no life beyond the one you see before you
10.
Ecstasy 03:23
I'd love to tell you I hated The encompassing dark To tell you I hated Your heart But it's not bad luck It's not a curse It's just the ecstasy Of making things worse
11.
When the continents of lichen Spread across your skin When the warm rot of morning sets in When the lava fields crack And the black sand beaches burn You will lay all your hope In a grave of ferns Let the cold dim light Of dawn shine on Let the cold dim light Of dawn shine on When all diamond turns to soil And your bones return to oil And nothing we have built Will outlast this mortal coil When the sky cracks at the seams And the stars come down in reams You will see all your days In fatherless dreams Let the cold dim light Of dawn shine on Let the cold dim light Of dawn shine on Will you finally be at peace Will you let go of your grief When all past and future lovers Have met their sweet release When the birds reclaim the sky And the fish crawl back to shore I will meet your ghost In the pale shroud of dawn Let the cold dim light Of dawn shine on Let the cold dim light Of dawn shine on

credits

released November 3, 2016

Written and Recorded by Tsinder Ash
Cover Art by Franko B
Mixed and Mastered by Mitch Girio

Track 1 Produced by Kyle List
Track 3 Beats by Aurist
Track 5 Produced by Derek Piotr
Track 6 Featuring Vocals by Laura Groves and Bass by Ben Reed
Track 8 Organ by Laura Groves
Track 9 Produced by Asher Fynn
Track 10 Featuring Vocals by Laura Groves and Theodor Stacey
Track 11 Produced by Derek Piotr

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Tsinder Ash London, UK

Tsinder Ash is a London-based multi-instrumentalist and vocalist. Tsinder's work has been featured on NTS and Resonance FM and BBC 6 Music.

‘Drawing comparisons to Coil, Anhoni and Björk...The music is experimental and seemingly teetering on the edge of collapse. A satisfyingly unpredictable and fresh sound’ (Louder Than War - 2020).
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